Counting down the days.
From a stretch of 3 weeks, it was cut down to 2... now, Saturday is D-day.
Im not sure how i feel about that.. except what Dzul has told me keeps popping in my head..
"you are a sitting duck, u make yourself out to BE the sitting duck.. stop sitting there and yelling Quack quack - shoot me"
At the randomest times when im there, at the happiest of times, this warning bell pops into my head and all i hear is "Quack quack". Then suddenly, a black cloud decends upon me, and i feel an immense dread, like irons shackles weighing me down while i am helpless and drowning.
Maybe i really have a fascination with self-destruction. i could have walked away in the very beginning when i knew. i SHOULD have walked away. but i stayed. im glad i stayed.
It's a bittersweet feeling, its a love-hate relationship. No regrets. At least you gave me a sense of perspective and healed a lot of my wounds. For that, no regrets.
